Table of Contents
- 1) Animal Antics (25 Jokes)
- 2) Food & Snack Attack (25 Jokes)
- 3) School & Study Shenanigans (25 Jokes)
- 4) Holiday & Seasonal Chuckles (25 Jokes)
- 5) Tech & Gadget Gags (25 Jokes)
- 6) Knock-Knock Collection (25 Jokes)
- 7) Nature & Weather Wonders (25 Jokes)
- 8) Pirate & Ocean Adventures (25 Jokes)
- 9) Sports & Activity Laughter (25 Jokes)
- 10) Random Silly Surprises (25 Jokes)
- Closing Thoughts
Below is a our super-mega-collection of 250 clean jokes for kids, neatly organized by themes—so you can pick and choose the perfect pun for any occasion. Feel free to share these as part of a Joke-Ha-Thon, a classroom ice-breaker, a funny fundraiser, or just because you need a good chuckle! If you want, you can also turn them into funny text stickers!
1) Animal Antics (25 Jokes)
Q: Why did the cat join Instagram?
A: She heard she could get a lot of “likes” for her purr-fect selfies!Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bull-dozer.Q: Where do sheep go on vacation?
A: The Baa-hamas!Q: Why did the dog cross the road?
A: To get to the “barking” lot!Q: What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant?
A: Swimming trunks.Q: Why can’t a leopard hide?
A: Because he’s always spotted.Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A: A fsh.Q: Why did the turtle refuse to take a selfie?
A: He was shell-fie conscious!Q: What did the duck say when she bought lipstick?
A: “Put it on my bill.”Q: Why was the whale so sad?
A: He felt a little blue.Q: What did one flea say to the other flea?
A: “Shall we walk, or take the dog?”Q: Where do polar bears keep their money?
A: In a snowbank!Q: Why are fish so smart?
A: Because they live in schools.Q: What did the horse say after it tripped?
A: “Help! I’ve fallen, and I can’t giddy-up!”Q: How does a lion greet the other animals in the savannah?
A: “Pleased to eat you!”Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An investi-gator.Q: What did the frog order at the fast-food restaurant?
A: A Diet Croak.Q: Why did the cow never share?
A: Because she was a little moooo-dy.Q: What do you call a camel with no humps?
A: Humphrey (Hump-free).Q: Why did the chicken go to the seance?
A: To get to the other side!Q: What’s a snake’s strongest subject in school?
A: Hiss-tory!Q: What does a panda ghost eat?
A: Bam-boo!Q: How do bees go to school?
A: On the school buzz.Q: Why is a bee’s hair always sticky?
A: Because they use honeycombs.Q: What do you call a pig that knows karate?
A: A pork chop!
2) Food & Snack Attack (25 Jokes)
Q: Why did the banana go to the doctor?
A: Because it wasn’t peeling well.Q: What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
A: Nacho cheese!Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
A: Because he felt crummy.Q: What do you call a sad strawberry?
A: A blueberry.Q: Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
A: They’d crack each other up.Q: What do you give to a sick lemon?
A: Lemon-aid!Q: Why did the tomato turn red?
A: Because it saw the salad dressing!Q: Why did the banana wear sunscreen at the beach?
A: It didn’t want to peel!Q: What did one plate say to the other plate?
A: “Dinner’s on me!”Q: What did the cupcake say to the icing?
A: “I’d be muffin without you.”Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A: A gummy bear.Q: How do you make a lemon drop?
A: Just let it fall!Q: Why did the tortilla chip always get in trouble?
A: Because it was nacho average chip (always cheesy).Q: Why shouldn’t you tell a secret in a cornfield?
A: Because there are too many ears.Q: What do you call a cow that won’t give milk?
A: A milk dud.Q: Why was the grape so upset?
A: He was in a jam.Q: What do you call blueberries playing the guitar?
A: A jam session.Q: What do you call a peanut in space?
A: An astro-nut.Q: What do you call a cheese that’s sad?
A: Blue cheese.Q: Why did the yogurt join the dance crew?
A: It had a lot of culture.Q: What do you call a sleeping pizza?
A: A piZZZZZa.Q: What do you call a rabbit that loves cold drinks?
A: A hops float (instead of root beer float).Q: Why do melons always have weddings?
A: Because they cantaloupe.Q: Where do hamburgers go dancing?
A: They go to the meat-ball.Q: Why did the ice cream truck break down?
A: Because of the rocky road.
3) School & Study Shenanigans (25 Jokes)
Q: Why did the student eat his homework?
A: The teacher said it was a piece of cake.Q: Why is the math book always sad?
A: Because it’s got too many problems.Q: What did one pencil say to the other on the first day of school?
A: “You’re looking sharp!”Q: What do librarians take with them when they go fishing?
A: Bookworms.Q: Which grade isn’t feeling so good?
A: The flu season (the teacher was out with the flu).Q: Why was the music teacher unable to open her classroom?
A: Because her keys were on the piano!Q: Why did the bike fall over on the way to school?
A: It was two-tired!Q: What did the digital clock say to its mom?
A: “Look, Ma—no hands!”Q: Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A: Her students were so bright!Q: Why did the geometry teacher miss class?
A: She sprained her angle.Q: Why did the pirate fail his alphabet test?
A: He kept saying “R!” instead of “Arrr.”Q: What do you call a story about a broken pencil?
A: Pointless.Q: How do you make seven even?
A: Remove the “S.”Q: Which school subject was the witch’s favorite?
A: Spelling.Q: What do you call a dinosaur who loves numbers?
A: A Tyrannosaurus Math.Q: What gets bigger the more you take away?
A: A hole.Q: Why was the report card wet?
A: Because it was below C-level.Q: How does a scientist freshen her breath?
A: With experi-mints.Q: What’s a math teacher’s favorite dessert?
A: Pi.Q: Why was the mushroom the life of the school party?
A: Because he was a fungi (fun guy).Q: Why did the history book look so sad?
A: It had too many dates.Q: How do you get straight A’s?
A: By using a ruler.Q: What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?
A: The teacher says, “Spit out that gum!” and the train says, “Chew, chew!”Q: Why did the teacher draw on the window?
A: She wanted her lesson to be very clear.Q: Why did the student study on an airplane?
A: He wanted a higher education.
4) Holiday & Seasonal Chuckles (25 Jokes)
Q: Why did Santa go to music school?
A: So he could improve his wrapping skills!Q: Why did the turkey join a band?
A: Because he had the drumsticks.Q: How do you scare a snowman?
A: Point a hair dryer at him.Q: What is a ghost’s favorite dessert?
A: I-scream.Q: Where do werewolves buy their Christmas gifts?
A: Beast Buy.Q: Why does Santa have three gardens?
A: So he can “ho ho ho”!Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go trick-or-treating?
A: He had no body to go with.Q: Why are Christmas trees bad knitters?
A: They keep losing their needles.Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A: Frosted Flakes.Q: How do you fix a broken pumpkin?
A: With a pumpkin patch.Q: What’s a snowman’s favorite snack?
A: Ice Krispie treats.Q: What do you call Santa when he takes a break?
A: Santa Pause.Q: Why was the turkey the drummer for the holiday concert?
A: Because he had drumsticks.Q: How does a scarecrow drink his juice?
A: With a straw.Q: What is Santa’s favorite type of music?
A: Wrap music!Q: What happens if you eat too many Christmas decorations?
A: You get tinsel-itis.Q: How does the Easter Bunny keep his fur so nice?
A: With a hare dryer.Q: Why was the Easter Bunny so upset?
A: He was having a bad hare day.Q: Why did the skeleton stay home from the New Year’s party?
A: He didn’t have the guts.Q: What does every birthday end with?
A: The letter “Y.”Q: Why was the Easter egg so popular?
A: Because it was egg-stra special.Q: What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
A: “Aren’t you glad you got all decked out?”Q: Why is Santa so good at karate?
A: Because he has a black belt.Q: What did the turkey say to the mashed potatoes on Thanksgiving?
A: “Just gravy, baby.”Q: Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue?
A: To get a spare rib.
5) Tech & Gadget Gags (25 Jokes)
Q: Why did the computer keep sneezing?
A: It had a virus.Q: Why did the smartphone need glasses?
A: Because it lost all its contacts.Q: What’s the most popular video game at the bread bakery?
A: Knead for Speed.Q: Why did the computer squeak?
A: Someone stepped on its mouse!Q: What do you call a computer hero?
A: A screen saver.Q: Why did the teenager get banned from the internet?
A: He crashed too many websites.Q: Why was the computer cold?
A: It left its Windows open.Q: What is an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer?
A: The space bar.Q: How does the ocean say hello online?
A: It just waves… or sends a sea-mail.Q: Why did the computer go to the dentist?
A: Because it had a Bluetooth.Q: What happens when you press Alt + F4 on a pirate’s computer?
A: It closes all his arrr-pplications!Q: Why did the robot go on summer vacation?
A: It needed to recharge its batteries.Q: How do smartphones get drunk?
A: They get charged up!Q: What do you call an iPhone that isn’t kidding around?
A: Dead Siri-ous.Q: Why was the mobile phone wearing a tuxedo?
A: It was going to a reception.Q: Why did the cell phone break up with her boyfriend?
A: There was no connection.Q: What do you get when you cross a computer and a lifeguard?
A: A screensaver.Q: Why was the computer chair so relaxed?
A: It had no pressure—just a lot of back support.Q: Why didn’t the iPad go to the beach?
A: Because it didn’t want to get a byte taken out of it.Q: Why do computers always beat us at chess?
A: They have faster processors.Q: What do you call two laptops that fall in love?
A: A match.com.Q: How do trees use the internet?
A: They just log in.Q: Why was the computer show so long?
A: They had a lot of bytes to cover.Q: What do you say to your computer after a big meal?
A: “Thanks for the megabytes!”Q: Why did the drone get in trouble at school?
A: It kept buzzing around instead of studying.
6) Knock-Knock Collection (25 Jokes)
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Avenue.
Avenue who?
Avenue heard enough of these knock-knock jokes yet?Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, it's cold out here!Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don’t cry, it’s just a joke!Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Annie.
Annie who?
Annie way you can let me in?Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Yodel-lay.
Yodel-lay who?
I didn’t know you could yodel!Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cow says.
Cow says who?
No, silly, a cow says moooo!Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Owls say.
Owls say who?
Yes, they do!Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Spell.
Spell who?
W-H-O!Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Police.
Police who?
Police hurry—I’m starving!Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No, YOU’RE a poo!Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes a bad time to knock?Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Needle.
Needle who?
Needle little help getting in, please!Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Broken pencil.
Broken pencil who?
Never mind, it’s pointless.Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You’re welcome!Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Radio.
Radio who?
Radio not, here I come!Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Deja.
Deja who?
Knock, knock…Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Kenya.
Kenya who?
Kenya hurry up and open the door?Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Leon.
Leon who?
Leon me when you’re not strong!Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Robin.
Robin who?
Robin you—hand over your lunch money!Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Figs.
Figs who?
Figs the doorbell, it’s not working!Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Anita.
Anita who?
Anita nap, this is getting long!Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Scold.
Scold who?
Scold outside, let me in!Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Zebra.
Zebra who?
Zebra is stuck in the door, let me in!Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dozen.
Dozen who?
Dozen anybody want to let me in?Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
I am.
I am who?
You don’t know who you are?
7) Nature & Weather Wonders (25 Jokes)
Q: What does the rain cloud wear under its coat?
A: Thunderwear.Q: Why did the tree get in trouble?
A: It kept leaf-ing class!Q: What do you call a flower that runs on electricity?
A: A power plant.Q: What did the volcano say to his crush?
A: “I lava you!”Q: Why do hurricanes travel so fast?
A: Because if they traveled slowly, we’d call them slow-i-canes.Q: What did the fog say to the light rain?
A: “I will mist you!”Q: Why is the ocean always so humble?
A: It just waves.Q: Why do hurricanes see the doctor?
A: Because they’re feeling under the weather.Q: How do you cut a wave in half?
A: Use a sea-saw.Q: What is a tornado’s favorite game to play?
A: Twister.Q: What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?
A: Foul weather.Q: Why did the weatherman bring a bar of soap?
A: He predicted a shower.Q: What is a tornado’s favorite dessert?
A: Funnel cakes.Q: Why did the sun skip college?
A: Because it already had a million degrees!Q: What did the lightning bolt say to the other lightning bolt?
A: “You’re shocking!”Q: What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
A: Hailing taxis!Q: What kind of haircuts do bees get?
A: Buzzz cuts.Q: What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?
A: It gets toad away.Q: How does the ocean pay its bills?
A: With sand dollars.Q: What do you call a bear caught in the rain?
A: A drizzly bear.Q: Why couldn’t the moon pay its bills?
A: Because it was down to its last quarter.Q: Where do lightning bolts go on dates?
A: Cloud nine.Q: Why did the cloud date the fog?
A: He was so down to earth.Q: How do you know the ocean is friendly?
A: It waves!Q: Why did the gardener plant light bulbs?
A: He wanted to grow a power plant.
8) Pirate & Ocean Adventures (25 Jokes)
Q: Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank?
A: Because they’ll just wash up on shore.Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?
A: “R!” (Though some say the “C” is pretty close.)Q: Why is pirating so addictive?
A: Once you lose your first hand, you get hooked.Q: What do you call a pirate who steals from the rich and gives to the poor?
A: Robin Hook.Q: How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?
A: A buccaneer.Q: Why did the pirate bring a camera to the ocean?
A: Because he wanted to capture the moment.Q: What did the ocean say to the pirate?
A: Nothing—it just waved.Q: What happens when you take a pirate’s wooden leg away?
A: He becomes a one-legged man without a leg to stand on!Q: Where do pirates buy their hook replacements?
A: At the secondhand store.Q: What did the pirate say when his wooden leg got stuck in the freezer?
A: “Shiver me timbers!”Q: Why couldn’t the pirate learn the alphabet?
A: He kept getting lost at C!Q: Why did the pirate cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide—arr!Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite exercise?
A: The plank!Q: Why did the kid pirate join the choir?
A: So he could hit the high Cs.Q: What do sea monsters eat?
A: Fish and ships.Q: Why was the ocean so salty?
A: Because the land never waves back.Q: Where do pirates go to get everything they need?
A: The arrrrr-my navy store.Q: Why didn’t the pirate’s phone ring?
A: He left it off the hook.Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite snack?
A: Barrrrr-be-cue chips.Q: How do you make a pirate furious?
A: Take away the “P.” Now he’s irate!Q: Why don’t pirates travel on mountain roads?
A: ‘Scurvy.Q: Why do pirates carry swords?
A: Because swords can’t walk!Q: How did the pirate buy his ship so cheap?
A: It was on sail.Q: What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A: A carrot (though that’s no pirate’s snack!).Q: What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
A: “Aye matey!” (I’m eighty!)
9) Sports & Activity Laughter (25 Jokes)
Q: Why did the soccer player bring string to the game?
A: So she could tie the score.Q: Why did the coach go to the bank?
A: To get his quarterback.Q: Why was the baseball player always so cool?
A: He slid into every base.Q: Which insect is good at football?
A: A shoulder pad-illa? (Ok, that’s a stretch!) Or “The fumble-bee.”Q: Why is Cinderella so bad at soccer?
A: She runs away from the ball.Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
A: In case he got a hole in one.Q: Why did the baseball player take his bat to bed?
A: Because he heard there would be a night game!Q: Why do basketball players love cookies?
A: Because they can dunk them.Q: What do you call a pig who plays basketball?
A: A ball hog.Q: What animal is best at hitting a baseball?
A: A bat.Q: Where do tired gym socks end up?
A: The sock-er hamper.Q: Why was the runner in the marathon so happy?
A: He knew he’d finish one way or the other.Q: Why did the golfer wear two hats?
A: In case he got a hole in one… on his head?Q: Which sport can also be enjoyed in the shower?
A: Soap opera (not exactly a sport, but it involves drama!).Q: Why did the football coach go to the bank?
A: To get his quarterback.Q: Why did the cheerleader bring a ladder?
A: She heard she needed to do high kicks.Q: What do you call a race car that never wins?
A: A shampion.Q: What is a ghost’s favorite sport?
A: Boo-ling.Q: Why did the baseball take a nap?
A: For a short stop.Q: Why was the soccer player upset on the field trip?
A: She wasn’t allowed to use her head on the bus!Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
A: A stick. (At least you can throw it in any sport.)Q: Why couldn’t the bike stand on its own?
A: It was two-tired.Q: Why did the tennis player bring a spreadsheet to the match?
A: She heard it was good for making a racket.Q: Why did the boxer go break dancing?
A: He liked hitting the floor.Q: What is a basketball player’s favorite kind of cheese?
A: Swish cheese.
10) Random Silly Surprises (25 Jokes)
Q: What do you call a pony with a cough?
A: A little horse.Q: What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?
A: A re-morse code.Q: Why can’t you trust stairs?
A: They’re always up to something.Q: What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
A: Finding half a worm.Q: Why are elevator jokes so good?
A: They always work on many levels.Q: What did the cop say to his belly button?
A: “You’re under a vest!”Q: Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
A: Because she was stuffed.Q: What do you get when you cross a snail with a porcupine?
A: A slowpoke.Q: What did one firefly say to the other?
A: “You glow, girl!”Q: How do you organize a space party?
A: You planet.Q: Why did the picture go to jail?
A: Because it was framed.Q: What did one wall say to the other?
A: “I’ll meet you at the corner.”Q: Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
A: They don’t have the guts.Q: Did you hear about the circus fire?
A: It was in tents!Q: Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
A: Because she’ll let it go!Q: What did the big flower say to the little one?
A: “Hey bud, how’s it growing?”Q: Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
A: Because he was outstanding in his field!Q: How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?
A: You rocket!Q: Why was the broom late to work?
A: It over-swept.Q: What sound do hedgehogs make when they hug?
A: Ouch!Q: What did the policeman say to his moustache?
A: “I mustache you a question.”Q: Why did the student bring a ladder to school?
A: Because she wanted to go to high school.Q: Why was the belt arrested?
A: It held up some pants.Q: Why did the robber jump in the shower?
A: He wanted to make a clean getaway.Q: What do you call a bear with no ear?
A: A “b.”
Closing Thoughts
Congratulations—you’ve reached the end of our 250 Jokes for Kids extravaganza! Whether you’re sharing jokes to raise money for a good cause, telling them in the classroom to create a positive community, or simply enjoying them at home, a good pun or riddle can brighten anyone’s day.
Feel free to mix, match, and adapt these jokes for your own “Joke-Ha-Thon,” family gatherings, or just for random giggles. Keep on laughing—and keep on spreading smiles!
